Comments (0)

By admin, June 9, 2010 9:24 pm

Hello Everyone. So, Chris and Aaron just finished celebrating their 5th anniversary of the Let’s Get Hot! live comedy show in Toronto, Canada. it was a blast and everyone there said really nice things and HAD really nice things just tucked under their little summer clothes there. Chris and Aaron found time before the show to reflect on their stupid past and write down some of the advice they thought they could give to any young comedy variety show hosts or co-hosts out there who are thinking about getting into the awful biz.
Here’s what the boys had to say:

Never bring your girlfriend on stage with you when doing a bit with your co-host. She will become jealous of your close relationship that only you two truly understand and she will throw a fit.

If you see a guy in the audience with a gun, remember, he becomes top
priority, not the show.

Make sure the zipper on your pants is done up at all times. You never want the audience to catch a glimpse of your unkempt vagina.

If you get nervous, just imagine the audience is all in their
underwear being led into a meatgrinder.

Always keep your lucky charm on you when you perform. It really works. I’ve been successful at hosting a show ever since I started keeping my lucky throw pillow tucked into the front of my shirt.

If you take off all your clothes right before going on, it will not
make you invisible when you step on the stage and wiggle around on the
floor in pure bliss.  Everybody will see you and you’ll have to move
to a new city about 9 years ago.

One of the best ways to come up with jokes that no one has ever told before is to meditate. This is not a joke. Meditating is the best way to centre yourself and find that focus you need to create that really good absurd joke. Especially if you’re getting a blowjob at the same time. Then it’s the best.

If a comedian is choking to death on a piece of food, don’t give him
the heimlich because you and I both know what it’s going to look like
you’re doing to him.

A great pre-show meal before a show to give you good energy is something with a lot of protein. A lot of the times before a show I eat a bowl of macaroni and cheese with meatballs and i chase it down with a 2 liter bottle of Orange pop. you know, something like that.

If you don’t think the show is going to be that good, blow your head off.

Always steer away from booking acts with names like, “The Human Salmon.” and, “Angry Man.”

When you first start up your show, don’t tell everybody you’re 118
years old because 5 years later you’ll supposedly be 123 years old,
making you the oldest recorded human being in history which will draw
suspicion to your lie.

Try not to stare at all the pleasantly plump aristocratic women in the front row with their cleavage popping out of their dresses. They will notice and become infuriated. You’ll never get an opportunity to soar over Paris in a hot air balloon.

After a show don’t hang around the bar waiting for girls to buy you
drinks, because waiting quickly turns into begging and then the
begging gets videotaped and put on youtube and the youtube video gets
2.5 million hits and all the comments are about what a retarted foggat
you are.

Comments (0)

By admin, February 17, 2010 9:35 am

When doing research on Valentine’s Day for the University of Kokonga, Chris and Aaron discovered that there have been many other Valentine’s Day mascots aside from Cupid that never caught on with the public. They spilt their pops. Here’s their favorites:

THE JACKAL
The Jackal was a Valentine’s Day character that was invented around
the same time as movie theatres. If you left your seat to go buy
snacks, the Jackal, who could change his form to look like anyone,
would take on your appearance and sit down next to your date, honk her
tits and run. A minute later when you returned with the snacks, your
date would be mad at you and you would say “It must have been the
Jackal.” Times were simpler and hopefully she would buy it.

SPARK
Was a cute little piece of electricity that would jump off of the lips of a kissing couple on a date and go, “Now you’ve got it!”

GORDIE
Gordie is a Valentine’s Day character who hangs out outside of the
Liquor store on Valentine’s Day and will buy alcohol for anybody who isn’t of
age as long as they throw him a couple of bucks so he can “buy a bus
ticket to Brampton.” The strange paradox with Gordie is that he is
always five bucks away from getting the ticket, even after you give
him five bucks.

LIL’ SCRUMPTIOUS
A vanilla cupcake that women would crumble into their toilet. After flushing the crumbs the man of their dreams was supposed to stick his head out and go, “Have I got the right place?”

BIG LOAD
After being told by a censorship board that Big Load’s huge bulge in
the front of his diaper was too suggestive, the bulge was simply moved
the back of his diaper. This was perhaps the greatest mistake in
Valentine’s Day history.

THE BRAIN-CAKER
The Brain-Caker is a huge beast of a man that sniffs out lonely people with his giant wet hound dog like snout. When he finds a pair that he knows should be a couple, he rips the brains out from their skulls and crams them into a wedding cake.

NEIL STRONG-ARM
This Valentines Day character, created in 1969, was known as the
“First Man to successfully land IN the Moon.” He was always shown
winking while doing things like walking in through Exit doors,
sticking his finger in hamburger buns and jumping into sewers.

BILLY BULLET
An original bullet from the Valentine’s Day Massacre that’s constantly zooming around the world at the speed of well… a bullet that was just shot out of a gun. When it sees a couple kissing on a park bench, it whizzes by their ears and makes kissey-kissey noises.

HOBO LOVESTRUCK
Hobo Lovestruck was a hobo themed Valentine’s character who would ask
young men who were out on first dates if they would help him get a can
of sardines out of his rucksack.  If they said no he would scream “I’m
Lonely” and kiss them on the mouth as he sucked their soul out,
spitting it into his rucksack with all the other souls.  If they
agreed to help him he would do the exact same thing.  This Valentine’s
character suffered in popularity because people didn’t like him.

PRESIDEN’T LITTLE HELPER
President’s Little Helper was a character who advised the American
President in matters of love.  One of his catch phrases was “Tell her
she has to or you’ll have her killed.”

JACK RYAN
Jack Ryan is most famously known as the lead character from The Hunt
For Red October, Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger and The Sum
Of All Fears.  Tom Clancy originally created Jack Ryan as a last
second Valentine’s day present for his wife when he forgot to stop by
a variety store on his drive home from being out all day just standing
there looking at a Navy ship

Comments (0)

By admin, January 6, 2010 7:55 am

Chris & Aaron recently visited the World’s Biggest Bookstore and stayed for a fortnight studying the Ancient Mayan civilization. They were curious to discover what other great predictions the Mayan culture may have made on top of the 2012 Apocalypto phenomenon that’s currently sweeping the nation. They were also getting increasingly disappointed with Nastradamus screwing up his predictions all the time. What an Ancient blowhard. You’re old news, pal. Anyway, they found that the Ancient Mayans had a lot to teach us about our up-coming year, 2010. Here are some of the more interesting predictions they found:

In 2010 America will elect a wack president.

In 2010 all of the earth’s millionaires are going to host parties at
their houses then feel unsatisfied, hollow and lonely afterwards.
Just like they do all the time every year, you know what us Mayans are
saying?

In 2010 a thousand people will choke to death while on an Arctic cruise that boasts, “It’s the ship with the cheesiest pizza!”

In 2010 George Clooney will hook up with Kate Hudson and together they
will be known as Georte Hudsneycloo.

In 2010 there will be a massive shift in human consciousness swaying all humans across the globe over to the belief that Selassie I is the true saviour. This will also coincide with the great Marijuana crop fires of 2010 which will permanently alter the atmosphere to include a distinct taste of cheeba cheeba. Also, picture horses with dreadlocks.

In 2010 a Marmaduke movie will come out in 2010, but of course you already
know that because of the Marmaduke teaser trailer that we predicted
will be released by the end of 2009. Owen Wilson will be the voice of
Marmaduke. Can you fucking believe this?

In 2010 a Teenaged pop singing lolita type will have a major hit single called, “Abduct my love after school at my highschool.”

In 2010 the popular music format is going to switch over from tapes to CDs.

In 2010 Astronomers will finally catch a glimpse of Jupiter’s underwear using the Hubble Telescope

In 2010 there will be a new mayonnaise substitute on grocery store
shelves called “Mayan-aise” and if you want to avoid our predicted
2012 end of times you will buy loads of Mayan-aise and spread word of
mouth advertising for Mayan-aise until we… uh, we mean “it” gets
enough money to start an advertising campaign.

In 2010 Liv Tyler will marry you… Chris.

In 2010 It will be okay to eat loudly at the table with your mouth open and
let stuff fall out. Sorry, that last prediction is not true. We
elder Mayans just found a couple of Mayan teenagers snickering and
writing on one of our predictions tablets which we have just spent 7
full months elaborately carving out this correction on. We should
have just thrown away the tablet but don’t want to admit we wasted those
7 months, which have now become a year and a bit.

In 2010 factories will mass produce an important article of clothing called, “The Snuggie” to prepare for the on-coming Ice Age.

In 2010 a bunch of guys will be murdered. Will you be one of them?

In 2010 a great leader will emerge from global chaos and will guide the planet into two centuries of world peace and harmony. The leader’s name will be, Papa Smorf.

In 2010 people will have finally forgotten about the time I farted in
the temple. Oh no, now you all remember again.

Comments (0)

By admin, November 27, 2009 8:02 am

Why, just the other day Chris and Aaron were walking around town discussing Kraftwerk and their contribution to electronic music. All of a sudden they looked up in the sky to witness a construction worker become electrocuted by some dumb powerline he was working on. It was crazy. Here are their recollections of that horrifying event:

At first we thought he was saying, “Help me.” But we decided later that he was actually saying, “Heinz canned beans, please.”

When the electricity was going through his body and he was x-rayed, we could see his skeleton was upsidedown trying to escape
through his butthole.

Pigeons landed on his shoulders and instantly became pieces of fried chicken. NOT fried pigeons. Fried chicken.

We saw one of his front pockets explode and a relieved hamster dressed
up in handcuffs, a bra and panties fly out screaming the words
“justice” and “freedom”.

For about 5 seconds there when the construction worker was being electrocuted we swear we could hear the chorus to Twist and Shout.

We saw his dark purple Hypercolor shirt turn light pink.

We saw his eyeballs blow out of their sockets holding each other’s
hand.  One of them was carrying a copy of a book called “Forbidden
Love.”

His spirit left his body, went into the port-o-poti, came back out and said, “Anyone got a Glade air-freshner? I don’t work for them or anything- I’m not advertising for them but, I do find them the best at eliminating unwanted odors.” And then returned to his body.

We saw God part the clouds and look down as the guy was being
electrocuted and say “Hey everybody lookit me, lookit me.  I’m God.
Awwwww, everybody’s just looking at that guy.” Then he went back into
the clouds sulking, cranked some Eminem,  watched a pirated copy of
Transformers 2, drank some Mountain Dew and played Halo.

His teeth chattered rapidly making a sound not unlike that knuckle song everyone knows how to play on the piano.

Spinal Tap walked by, pointed up at him and said, “His body goes to 11.” They looked really old.

We saw Ghost Rider walk by and start threatening to sue the
electrocuted guy for copywrite infringement because his skull was on
fire.  Then we saw Ghost Rider piss out the poor guy’s skull fire.
Then we saw Ghost Rider fall to his knees and start crying and sobbing
something about how his momma didn’t raise him to behave like this and
he kept saying “I’m sorry momma, I’m sorry.”

A blast of electricity shot out of his big right toe and struck an old discarded transistor radio. The radio came alive and an ancient news bulletin came out the speakers that said, “David Lee Roth has just announced that he is no longer in Van Halen.”

We saw his body fly 100 feet backwards and slam into his ex-wife’s
front door.  She just opened the door and said “Okay fine, but this is
last time, we can’t keep doing this.”  Then she dragged his body
inside and turned the lights down low.

Comments (3)

By admin, October 25, 2009 3:46 pm

Well, it’s Halloween again and everyone knows what that means! It doesn’t look as out of place to be drinking in a graveyard. This is something that Chris and Aaron always do. Always. They chug-a-lug and then bark at the moon defying the inevitable looming grasp of Death… or the Po-Po.
On these such occasions they always make sure to pull out their notebooks (You thought I was going to say wangs) and jot down their favorite tombstone engravings. Here are just a few of them for your reading pleasure:

Here Lies Jason Chow
An asshole all his life.

Jim Barnes ate a hotdog at 7-11
Those hotdogs are sweaty rotating tickets to heaven

Here lies Terry Macpherson
Devoted Father, Husband, Brother, and then later, Mother, Wife, Sister.

Here in this grave lies Mary Catroze
Forgot how winter works and got herself froze
But that’s not what killed her, she just lost her toes
What actually did her in was a blood clot.

Here lies Mary Thompson
Hopefully she’s eating as much fatty foods as she wants up in Heaven without having to worry about the consequences.

Megan Rachel Alistair, oh what a life!
Was born in a kitchen, right onto a knife!

Kristen Anderson-White
Beloved wife of dog-man.

Old Joe Mancini had a skull, soft like a bed
A cat licked his sideburns, which caved in his head

Captain Tulmudge
Lion Tamer, Lion dinner, Lion indigestion, Lion diarrhea.

Poor Pinnocchio thought he was only a toy
Told a lie to an electric fence
And died like a boy

Douglas “The Daredevil” Wharburton
Before jumping out of a plane without a parachute on he called us pussies.

Old Margarat Hayworth, obsessed with her looks,
Cut off her wrinkles and hung them on hooks
She looked in the mirror and had quite a scare
All that was left was dyed blue purple hair

Angela Chausbury
She wanted her ashes spread over the Grand Canyon but what are we, rich? You’re buried Angela.

Toronto Hipster Graham Daniels always knew where the scene is
But died after 5 hours of tattooing his penis

Comments (0)

By admin, October 19, 2009 8:29 pm

Here’s something to think about. Chris and Aaron have slept all over the place and next to tons of different types of people and they all say the same thing: “You guys talk in your sleep. Totally killing my nighttime buzz.”
So there’s been a correspondence with these people to help collect all the wackiest and wildest things that have been heard uttered during these dimwit’s dozes. Here are a few things Chris and Aaron have been heard saying (sometimes even yelping) while fast asleep:

Chris: “Hurt It!”

Aaron: “Three wishes eh? I’m going to use the first two wishes to torture you and the last one to finish you off.”

Chris: “I can’t face another day.”

Aaron: “Bring all the racoons to me, I want to show them what I did to their spaghetti huts.”

Chris: “The dog’s right, we’re going to have to go back out the front.”

Aaron: “I can’t wait to wake up.”

Chris: “There’s been a terrible milk accident.”

Aaron: “I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won!”

Chris: “It’s November. It’s November.” (It was March)

Aaron: “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I don’t know this band. (Heavy breathing) They’re really good though.”

Chris: “Wait… she was going to drink my pee.”

Aaron: “Permission to board this jar, Cap’n.”

Chris: “I’m glad you liked that Pepsi Cola. I stole it from Oscar the Grouch.”

Aaron: “Play a backbeat and I’ll dance these chocolate spiders out of here.”

Chris: “My Mom and Dad drowned in a pool of milk, so yes, I live here alone.”

Aaron: “Put it down! Ouch! Put it down! Ouch! Put it down! Ouch!”

Comments (4)

By admin, September 18, 2009 6:00 am

Hey everyone! Chris & Aaron made a new hilarious comic strip about a Great Dane, named Marmalade. He really knows how to bother his owner. They haven’t found an artist to cartoon the cartoon yet, if you will, so they’ve just posted some descriptions of the pictures and the caption that would go with it. They’re funny! Enjoy!

Pic: Marmalade is standing by the front door with his leash in his mouth. The owner is looking at him.
Caption: (Owner) I guess you want to go for a walk, hey Marmalade.”

Pic: Marmalade has an apple resting on his head and is sitting patiently in front of the owner and his wife.
Caption: (Owner) “He wants me to play, ‘William Tell’ with him.”

Pic: Marmalade’s owner sees Marmalade sitting in his reading chair.
Caption: (Owner) “I guess you think you own this house now, eh Marmalade?”

Pic: Marmalade’s head is sticking out the window of a moving Police car. His tongue is hanging out and he is enjoying the breeze.
Caption: (Police Officer) “I feel good about taking this runaway dog back to his owner.”

Pic: Marmalade is drinking out of the toilet. The owner is watching.
Caption: (Owner) “Whoever forgot to flush the toilet is cleaning this up.”

Pic: Marmalade is attacking a life size dummy that looks just like his owner. The owner and the owner’s young son are watching.
Caption: (Owner) “I’m actually starting to not feel safe around Marmalade.”

Pic: Marmalade has a sweater on. He’s smoking a pipe and sitting in the Owner’s reading chair.
Caption: (Owner) “Okay, what is going on here… This is fucked.”

Pic: Marmalade is holding up a turkey leg and has a gun pointed at it. The owner sits at the dinner table with his wife.
Caption: (Owner) “He’s holding my dinner hostage until I take him out for a walk.”

Pic: Marmalade’s owner is looking out his bedroom window at night and can see all kinds of flashing lights coming from inside Marmalade’s dog house.
Caption: (Owner) ” What the hell is this all about?”

Pic: Marmalade is sitting, panting, and looking up at his owner in the living room.
Caption: (Owner) “Just where are you from Marmalade, really.”

Pic: The owner is going over a phone bill with his reading glasses on. He looks angry. Marmalade looks embarrassed.
Caption: (Owner) “Who made all these calls to Mars?”

Pic: The owner is on the 18th hole with Tiger Woods and thousands of people are watching. Marmalade has run out on the course and has the owner’s golf ball in his mouth.
Caption: (Owner) “I am literally going to kill you.”

Pic: Marmalade is urinating on the owner’s shoes at the front door.
Caption: (Owner) “Why?”

Pic: Marmalade is pushing the Owner’s son on a tire swing in the backyard. The boy is enjoying himself.
Caption: (Boy) “This is the perfect Summer day.”

Pic: Marmalade is listening to Beethoven. He’s standing on his hind legs and acting like he’s conducting a symphony. He’s also giving the owner an evil glare.
Caption: (Owner) “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere near you. I’m just going to the kitchen.

Pic: Marmalade is wearing a suit and dealing with a teller at the bank. There is a huge pile of money on the counter.
Caption: (Teller) “There you are Marmalade’s owner, all of your money.”

Pic: Marmalade is wearing his owner’s pajamas and spooning the owner’s wife in bed.
Caption: (Marmalade) “Hello dear, don’t turn around. It’s just me, you’re husband.”

Pic: The owner is looking at a photograph of his wife sleeping in the nude. It is signed in the corner with a paw print.
Caption: (Owner) “What the…?”

Pic: Two doctors are talking outside the door of a care room in the hospital. Through the door you can vaguely see the disfigured and bandaged owner of Marmalade. All of his limbs are in casts.
Caption: (Doctor) “He says Marmalade did this to him, but I’ve never seen anybody have a reaction like this to a fucking Jam before.”

Pic: Marmalade is driving a station wagon. The Owner’s family are his passengers. They drive down a street where they can see the owner, who is naked, rummaging through some garbage cans.
Caption: (Marmalade) “Remember him? Rummaging through the garbage like a wild animal.”

Comments (0)

By admin, September 12, 2009 9:17 am

This is a bit Chris & Aaron did live at the 09/06/09 Let’s Get Hot! It totally destroyed the audience. They loved it so much each member bought Chris & Aaron a different kind of cake. Someone gave them a really shitty carrot cake with nickles in it. So gross. No offense.
These are new Canadian TV shows coming out this fall.
Enjoy!

Neutral people
A show about a bunch of fat AND skinny people that become concerned every time one of them seems slightly unhappy.

Eh Canadian is Eh Canadian, Eh?
This show is EH BOOT EH Canadian who has a HOT KEY and the HOT KEY STICKS in the front door of a factory that makes horseback riding accessories, which is where he works. At the factory there is talk of downsizing because word has it they 100% MAY PULL STIRRUPS from the line of products that they manufacture. He also owes a WHORE TONS of money.

Cowboy, Fisherman, Raccoon.
This show is about a cowboy from out west, a fisherman from out east, and a raccoon that is the boss of both of them.

It’s Colin Mockery’s Line It Is Anyway.
This is a show where Colin Mockery basically just plays around with a pool noodle for a half hour.

A Ton of Dung
This show is the imagining of what if there was a world exactly like yours, shrunken down to a micro-size, placed in a ton of dung and the only way this world can survive is if you keep it in your hands and mouth at all times.

Anne of Uncle Red’s Green Gables
This show answers CBC viewers most asked question “What would it be like if Uncle Red and his nephew Harold from the Red Green Show were popular enough to warrant a remake of Anne of Green Gables starring them.

Not Toronto
A show for that urban audience out there that wants to see their type of stories told in a city environment except not Toronto.

Sue Thomas F.B.Knows.
Sue Thomas is an F.B.I. agent who doesn’t have a nose and to compensate she has developed psychic abilities. She always solves the crime in the first 5 minutes of the show and spends the rest of the episode trying to get out of the office, but people keep coming up to congratulate her.

Andrew and the face he carved into a tree.
This show is about a young guy named Andrew and his best friend, a face he carved into a tree. They go on all sorts of adventures around the tree.

Planned It Earth
The Christian Answer to the secular BBC Series Planet Earth.

Burglar Butler
What happens when you catch a burglar invading your house and he says, “Oh, please don’t call the cops! I’ll do anything.” Burglar Butler.

Fruit of my Lions
A reality show about a guy helping to raise his pet Lion’s gay cub. Tons of guys always show up to his house at all hours of the night and he has to keep on telling them it’s a gay CUB, not CLUB. Not to spoil anything but he eventually looses so much sleep he’s convinced his gun is actually his toothbrush and he ends up making a Jackson Pollock in his bathroom.

Darn That Friggin’ Shoot to Heck
A show about a mom who almost swears over 900 times an episode.

When You Piss Upon A Car:
A series based on the true-life story of Cliff Edwards, the man who voiced Jiminy Cricket and what happened to his career after he pissed on Walt Disney’s car bumper.

Comments (0)

By admin, July 17, 2009 6:41 am

Hello everyone! Last night Chris and Aaron stayed up really late compiling all the things they’ve heard the least popular guy at a party say and they really wanted to share it with you!
So without further ado-doo, here’s:

Stuff the least popular guy at the party said.

“Alright, who doesn’t know what a french kiss is?”

“Who wants to watch some Harold Lloyd?”

“Does it look like I’m arresting this tomato?”

“Aw man, I just spilt everything all over me.”

“Who else here looks like they’re forty?”

“I brought my parents CD travel case.”

“Things aren’t going well for me. In fact, I’m doing really bad these days.”

“I masterbated before I came out tonight because I didn’t want to accidentally get a boner. No, just kidding I didn’t. Shut up! I didn’t!”

“I said, ‘how big is it?’ Not ’show it to me.’”

“You’re right, that girl I dated was a cow, Alex. You’re so funny, Alex. And, he’s off! Look at him go and make jokes. So funny. So funny.”

“Hello, how are you?”

“Quick, smell my hand! Smell it, quick, before it goes away!”

“Oh yeah, and there’s a box of sour cream and onion Crispers on the kitchen table if anyone wants to open them.”

“There’s a sale on milk at 7-11. I love milk with chocolate butter, I mean, peanut butter. Chocolate and peanut butter is good too. They should make a candy that is it, oh yeah, they already do. Reese’s peanut butter cups and Reese’s pieces. Hey, Alison…”

“Look, I’m wearing shades. Oh, are these yours? Oh, yeah, we’ve met before. I’m sorry.”

“No, I live near by that’s all.”

“Yeah, she’s totally hot. I know her Dad pretty well. He’s really cool. He’s friends with my Dad and so sometimes I see her when they see each other on the street. She’s been over at my house a few times too.”

“Carrot sticks. Get your carrot sticks! Hey lady, how about you? Would you like a red hot carrot stick? You’re hot. I mean, no, no, no, you’re cold! The carrots are hot! No, you’re hot! Oh, which one do I mean?”

“Hey, who’s cat is this? It’s barfing on my shoe. Oh great.”

“I think they should call it “Snower” not “Winter.”

“So, when you buy a bra, what? Are you thinking about how sexy it is? Or, whether it fits nice or what?” (While pretending to juggle a pair of boobs on his chest)

“Him? No, I don’t know him. Honest. I don’t like him anymore anyways. Now I’m with you guys anyways and I’m having fun.”

“Goo Goo Dolls. Toni Braxton. Better Than Ezra.”

“Looks like I put a little bit more Vodka in this glass than I did Diet Coke.”

“That’s why I’m acting this way.”

“Praise be to God… somebody brought a doobie!”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. That is a price tag on my sweater. My mom bought me a whole bunch of new back to school clothes and I haven’t fully taken all the tags and stuff off of them yet. Did you hear, uh… Kyle talking about ordering a pizza? I hope they do that soon”

“Yeah, that guy who killed all those cats… He used to babysit me. My parents quit hiring him because they said something was slightly off about his personality. I remember one time he was babysitting me and he pet my cat really hard and told me to, ’shut up.’”

“Oh look, there’s some wallpaper peeling off over in that corner there. Tsk tsk.”

“When there’s four of something, what do they call it? A quad? Cause there’s a quad of beer in the fridge. Anyone know whose it is? Whose line is it anyway? Whose “beer” is it anyway?”

“I am the great, Don Partioti!”

Comments (1)

By admin, June 2, 2009 4:49 pm

Chris & Aaron discover that they have some great TV show ideas!

GAS ATTENDANT FRIENDS:

A show about four or five oddballs who find pleasurable company with each other on a gas station that’s on the way to Whistler/Blackcomb. So, like, one guy’s anal, and like another guy really needs to grow up. A girl is there too. Actually, like two girls. Ha ha ha.

THE MARRIEDS:

A group of six 32 year olds (because they were in a club) all get married (because of the club) in Vegas. The problem is that they were all drunk and don’t remember who’s married to who so the point is that they try to find out who’s married to who and their parents are soooo annoying. They have a nosy neighbor. There is an alien in their basement named “Old Man Face”.

THE HOT SWEET SWEAT SHOP HOP SUITE ON TOP:

A group of crazy amicable average Joes and Jills work really hard at producing chocolate together in a penthouse suite in Manhattan. There’s only one problem… The show is also like the Saw movies.

THE 100 SOMETHINGS:

A small group of almost dead people meet at a different bar every week to talk about things they have to deal with like grandchildren making fun of their stinky wrinkles on the internet. Each week one of them is voted off the island or bar or whatever. Lord of the Flies meets LOST.

CHUBBY BUBBY, YOU WUV ME:

At first, ex-con Michael Chunt, doesn’t know what to do when he is assigned an orderly duty which entails cleaning the shit out of the fat folds of a 600 lb old slut. Comedy ensues when he realizes that he loves the girl but her rich dad wants her to marry his favorite Laz-Y-Boy chair. Mmm mmm mmm. He also gets bad advice from an old box of fries that he keeps around in the pantry.

ALL IN THE “FANG”ILY:

A racist old vambire (yes, vamBire) sits on a couch and yells at his meathead. You want to know what else? Shhhhhh… he’s gay and the show is in 3-D.